Sunday, July 6, 2008

Our House

The Blog

I find it frustrating that all the medical geniuses in the world have yet to develop a vaccine protecting mothers against media-driven hype, and pointless conversation regarding husbands’ job titles and preschool waiting lists. Shame on you medical genius people. Get to work! And while you’re at it, feel free to post your progress on this site.


I sit at my computer with an eight-pound Chihuahua asleep in my lap. Earlier this morning, eight-pound Chihuahua escaped out the front door in a fiery frenzied attempt to bite a couple of power walkers. This little scrap of a dog is what I got when I asked for another baby. Yes, he is an adorable bundle of joy, but if you piss him off, he will crap in your bed. There is a big fat grouchy cat glaring at me because the Chihuahua is in my lap and he isn’t.

Nine boys are gathered behind me playing XBOX, and screeching. This morning I had four children. They seem to be multiplying, which is fine, as long as it is done within spy-shot of my nosey mother’s eye.

Sitting across from me is my remarkable husband, Mr. Computer Genius Geek. He built us a partners’ desk saying, “So we can spend more time together, Dear.” I am not fooled. His construction project was nothing more than a ploy to ensure that I see every single “You’re a DUMBASS,” look he throws my way when I curse at the computer and pound on the keyboard.

There is a 39th birthday looming around the corner, and a couple of grey hairs planning a terrorist attack on my head. A copy of the new My Morning Jacket co belts out at full volume. I can’t hear it. Of course, there is a coffee cup on my desk and a few matching rings reminiscent of a thousand predecessors.

My household is chaotic, loud, and cluttered. You probably wouldn’t want it, and I wouldn’t give it to you if you did. I love the little wink my husband throws at me from his judgment side of the desk. My heart melts when a teenager whizzes by, drops a kiss on my head, and says that he loves me. I am never lonely. Even when I’m the only one home, there are enough shedding creatures to keep me company. Plus, I’m not out of coffee. Life is good at my place.

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